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February, 2015
8 14 15In a zoo or carnival type setting, I am handling various snakes, as if this is my job, though I find it nerve-wracking. There are different natural or "fake natural" areas (ones made by people to look natural) with large rocks and expanses of hard dirt, a small amount of water too. Most of these are open to the public but have snakes in them. I need to safely remove them before zoo visitors might have encounters with the reptiles, mostly rattlesnakes, but a few cottonmouths too. The snakes are utterly without communication or evident emotions, yet their appearance and behavior can strike fear or anger in me. I successfully get through one dangerous encounter but then, when trying to control a snake that is coiling about my hand and arm, attempting to get its head free so it can bite me, I make a mistake and realize it is about to strike. I try to throw it several feet away before this happens, but in the blink of an eye it races back, a large rattler, and strikes me once, then at least twice more, and is still nearby as I call for emergency medical assistance, understanding, though, that it may not reach me in time. I feel myself in great pain and slowing down, maybe dying, and the snake, if it chooses, is still free to strike me more.
[As usual, snakes for me are about controlling vs. feeling my emotions. This ego may be dying, but if so another, stronger one will begin, better able to experience its emotional life.]
Title: "Front Excavations"
I go home to a temporary place I share with others, a kind of combined office and rooming house. I stay on the ground floor or in the basement, which, however, is fixed up so it is not just like a typical underground storage place but rather has cozy accommodations.
Unfortunately, when I get back to my place, I see that the small front yard area, right up to the entrance, is torn up. There are big mounds of earth and trenches or straight-sided holes dug up, several feet in depth, so that the way into my place is blocked. Workmen are still involved in the excavations.
Somehow, perhaps via a side or back way, I nonetheless get in. One of the other people who stays here is tall and well dressed, a man in a suit or tux. As I try to leave through the front door, I see he has put a big paperclip through a hasp or latch at the inner part of the door, making it harder to open from the outside, though a good shove would just force the hasp or latch off, so the paperclip is only an odd nuisance with which to deal, not effective to prevent unwanted intrusion.
[In today's first dream there is an unsuccessful attempt to control emotions, while in the second there is an impractical attempt to control unwanted intrusions. Both have natural aspects (snakes, rocks, earth, a little water) with which one must deal. Snakes are a powerful symbol and are at once about health (the medical Caduceus ), wisdom, the Chakras, sex, the Kundalini, and pent-up emotions.
The excavating in the earth may be about digging up buried depths of myself, what is unconscious but fundamental to my nature. That the front is being dug up may indicate my persona is being exposed or laid bare. There is insecurity here too, a feeling that what is not wanted may easily intrude, whether emotions or other disruptors to my life.
The tall, well dressed man also living here in the rooming house of my Self would seem to be a positive shadow energy character, yet he is not an effective one. His remedy will not keep out the powerful outside forces, whether of other people, more earthy parts of myself, or my basic emotions.]
2/14/15 - Title: "Ego vs. HP"
Maharaj Dayal Nam Ji has died. I'm at the spiritual center where he resided. None of the usual routines are occurring. People are in mourning and uncertain what still is appropriate in his absence. Then I learn I'm expected to be the new master here. At first, it feels overwhelming. People try to tell me what to do to fill his shoes, or they start making their own rules and routines, without authorization. After awhile I kind of get the hang of it, do my best, and it is good enough, though I have to have a couple people's heads chopped off to set an example. There's a dichotomy at first between the (ego-bound) me that thinks I can't do it or is defensive about others thinking I can't do it and just letting my HP take over and doing it. Happily, the ego is only like a kind of defective software, useful at times but no good if made to try to manage everything indiscriminately without regard to its limitations. The more difficult challenge to taking on being the master is the assumption within myself and by those who knew me well before that I am still an ego-bound, ineffective dude whom, it is believed, has to have help, as if it were a role I must play, and others think they are really better at it. What is called for is a transformational understanding that the ego-identity is an illusion and that there's so much more going on when it gets out of the way, when it is really seen as superfluous.
[The heads that must be chopped off are egos. That there are two suggests dawning awareness. It helps to ask what is behind the surface appearance of things, not that we can answer that question, but just to feel-see the wonder of neither being crazy nor accepting that this ordinary perception is accurate, knowing that vastly more than this is the true picture of things in every moment.]
2/15/15 - Title: "Cupid"
I meet and start talking to people, generally attractive women, and sometimes they light up, smile, become animated, even fall in love with someone nearby, occasionally me, mostly not, and sometimes it works out long-term, mostly not. I figure it's worthwhile, better than just avoiding folks and not engaging with them. It's not like my mission in life, but there are worse things than showing genuine interest in and chatting with others, and maybe at times it actually makes things a bit better, at least for one or two people at a time.
[The animas in this dream seem to model good qualities, in that they are attractive, animated, and loving, suggesting a positive, integrated connection with my feminine side.]