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May, 2021
2 23I and an attractive young woman, about my height, are nude, sitting very close to one another, cross-legged, and engaged in foreplay. I am younger (than my current actual age of 77), though it is not clear just how old I am. I have an erection and, like her, am certainly enjoying our foreplay. She sees my excited state and says "I go all the way." It is good news for me as I am eager to go all the way too. (At that point I awaken to noise in the actual environment, so do not know for sure what would have happened next. Odds seem good, though, we'd have been making love.)
[Nice to know at least in dreams this might still occur. The dream seems positive in that my anima - a Jung woman? - is there to show by example or counter example right attitudes and qualities, and here she is spontaneous, sensual, attractive, playful, and clearly interested, as I am, in our integrating. We are also being genuine, completely open with each other, not covered with any clothing or possible false personas. Four (fore) typically represents manifestation in reality, per the analyses I've learned in dream groups, and so again this evidently is an upbeat dream in that its nurturing and unifying aspects may also be realized as nurturance and a coming together of diverse aspects of self in real life.]
5/23/21 - Title: "Where Am I Going?"
Scene One - I'm in a huge city or on the outskirts of one or perhaps near a large college campus. It is early morning. I am evidently hungry and thirsty as well as lost. I have no idea how to get to my first college class but do not want to miss it and so have to start out the new term badly, already behind. I see a crowded fast food place. I think at first it is a familiar MacDonald's, but no such luck. I ask for coffee, but the man at the high counter says they are fresh out and it will be awhile before more is ready. I ask if they have pancakes and can fix me a short stack. He says yes, that they have their own version of them. When it comes, the order is a heated but hardly fresh couple of things, more like French crepes, so thin that the two of them are less food than one regular pancake, such as I was used to in childhood. One each package of jelly and syrup come with the warm food, but they are so hard to open I make a mess trying to get access to their contents, and meanwhile the food is getting cold. I ask people sitting near me in this crowded place if they know which bus I should take and where, to get to where I'm going, but nobody can help me.
Scene Two - I'm in a monstrously large city, at night, by a busy thoroughfare and needing to go somewhere north, to a hotel where I have a room reservation. I ask people on nearby sidewalks for help to know where my bus stop would be and which bus to take, but nobody can help, or at least nobody does.
Scene Three - I'm in a large city and at a military recruiting station, at night I think, asking young men who are there to volunteer for the service (Army or Navy, I think), if they can help me with directions, to know how to get to my reserved room in a city that I think is north of here, but I do not remember even what city it is, or just where that place is in relation to this city, the name of which I also do not know. The young men try to help, and a big map is opened. They seem to have several maps here. Unfortunately, it is difficult, since I neither know where I am nor exactly where I am going. The opened map is very large, several feet wide and long, and seems to be of another state, not mine, one at least as complex, urban, and highly populated as mine. My wife, Frances, comes in and says that map won't help, that it is for Illinois, and she begins trying to help me find out how to get where I am going. I feel relief, knowing that, if anyone can, she'll be able to get it sorted out for me, so I can finally be going the right way and maybe even get there on time. There is still concern, though. I worry that, even after getting Fran's assistance here, I must make the rest of my journey alone, and things can easily be confusing along the way.
[A few matters are clear about this. First, it is likely an anxiety dream. In prior worry dreams I have often had the impression I was going to be late for something important, that I was not adequately prepared, or that I had gotten lost and did not now know how to get back to where I needed to be. Second, a probable theme is my mortality. This room that is reserved for me at a certain place to the north may be my grave, or its equivalent if I'm cremated, a place where my physical remains might reside after I am dead. Third, though my shadow character selves won't be of much or any, assistance on the remainder of my life journey, they can at least provide a little nurturance at rest stops along the way (as with the fast food "short stack"), though this may come in a form that feels messy and not very satisfactory. Fourth, at least my anima, here in the character of my wife, Frances, will be ready and able to help at times.
Of Fran, I'd say she is brilliant, curious, an excellent teacher, has a great sense of humor, and is good at pursuing interests for which she is passionate. The anima, as I understand Jungian dream analysis, is there to show by example or counter-example right attitudes and emotions. So, let's say in this case she is showing that via intelligence, curiosity, humor, helping explain the results of learning, and dedication to pastimes about which I have an intense interest, I may better complete the remaining life path ahead.
There is still, though, reason for distress. The places I go through seem to have monsters (monstrously large city). To the extent the ego, the small-self with which I identify in the dream, tries to make his way alone, apart even from the anima and his shadow characters - they representing parts of the larger self not consciously acknowledged - he will be in danger of more confusion, fear, and a sense of looming annihilation.
Perhaps there might be help with a map, but no maps are present for my current (ego) state, though there is one at hand in case I can access another (altered?) state. Perhaps the ego is mostly used to rational, logical, left-brain states and, by contrast, experiencing much of the right-brain's intuitive, innovative, and creative states would feel rather alien, though they might actually provide answers that are being sought. Here, however, for the ego the opened map turns out to be inappropriate, serving only to make me feel badly or annoyed (Illinois = ill-annoy?).]