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1/23/04-Wolf face panting startled venison voices changing diapers snowdrifts niagara vincent van gogh swirls alter your tunes crafty throb of airplane engine counselor training dana and his brandy lessons broken leg suicide gestures catching fireflies learning to barbecue steaks play catch how to blow your nose sheen on marsh pond rainbow anger at mary great falls potomac brain pain gnat blue norther quite a show sandy river hummocks urinary urgency hightailed deer crossing the runway crabs on the dunes white water snakes...
1/3/04-Vivid dream images it is dark and there has been a grass fire which has quickly engulfed many acres near my mom's place as if she still or again lived out in the country yet it is not quite the same as when she lived outside of but near the city close to first austin then waco here a two-lane road goes by leads away from her property and rises on a slight incline as it continues farther from her place one can see clearly that on both sides of this road as well as across it for some distance the fire has been burning so that the asphalt is still smoking and quite hot the surface of the road no doubt almost liquid or charred from the recently passed fire's heat all of a sudden before I can stop her I realize that in a panic not understanding that it is safer for us to simply remain where we are the fire having spared the house and its immediately surrounding yard mom has taken herself and a couple young grandchildren and is making a dash for it in her van up that smoldering roadway oh no I think sure of disaster and I try to call her to not go that way and then yelling as loudly as I can to get her to come back but even if she hears me she is heedless of all but the idea fixed in her head and in the van races up the still nearly burning highway as I watch from the second floor of her big house while I am looking she veers off to the left losing control of the vehicle the tires no doubt now on fire or too hot to allow her to control the van further in the distance I see her going off the road into the still smoking and burning grasses beside the road the highway is much too hot as yet and the shoulders and embankments between her house and where the van has come to rest still too filled with smoke and flames for anyone to get to her and attempt a rescue on foot oh no I repeat to myself in horror watching and unable to do anything to help oh no...
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