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7/24/06-Having babies though inconvenient and in our species painful at times is yet the easiest possible matter everything conspiring toward this outcome all the right breeding shapes sounds smells hormones attitudes reactions almost irrespective of the partners involved each time they could be virtually any two heterosexual people sharing a merest fraction of each other's lives and fluids and might even be gay one could say the specific hosts of their gametes are irrelevant once thus bound by a moment's release or trauma and so infected however possessiveness or pride towards one's own DNA offspring and any who closely approximate it are so natural as to scarcely require acknowledgement at its most fundamental level it is this that drives all politics commerce or combat seemingly rational math or science godlike in their ways are but tools for biology which must first always have its insistent day contrast this with pascal all men's miseries come from an inability to sit quietly and alone obesity they now tell us derives from too little heat and sleep it makes me tired simply to think of it but glad my AC works during these oven-like central texas nights our lives a thousand thousand images are like short films and too soon the screen is blank again after more than a generation I am searching for imago materials in a collected multitude of books silverfish and papers where can they be too often the superficial is all we know what mysteries lie in the deep silence beneath below the surface thoughts feelings perceptions or illusions what a magnificent adventure to see...
7/15/06-Inner realms a geography of words in millions memories subtle silences and music not of this sphere her every part tissue cell perfect his dog not merely a man's best but his only friend often times distorted as in a fun house mirror for there are physicists' time perceived time clock time adrenaline or drugs slowed time mountain time planet time tree time old person time aliens' time turtle time approaching light speed time or time for a kid with terminal cancer besides a trillion trillion other varieties fossils are kinds of time machines little windows to before in a time stew gas land ice space dead rock sea or molten cores and crusts are in constant interactive transformative flux the booming of the pacific surf far below upon a craggy suffering beach for years a brother nephews nieces even in the same town acknowledge one another not by a single gesture or sound surrendering the fingers finally relax releasing thus the will and so his hold still upon this life earlier like water flowing after a sudden summer storm precious moments rushed by unremarked while digging to bury the latest grave resident between great stony layers beneath a scant couple feet of clay he came upon a former canine's canines now their owner and that last favorite pet lie together in the tiny backyard tomb she once so vivid for him like a dream after a new morning's rising has become hard to recall exactly the wound of her passing only partially healed over the mind not empty but benumbed anesthetized today at last under a huge eye of sky he steps out alone across the broad flat expanses to indulge his grief...
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