May, 2013

20 31

5/20/13 - Title: "Tsunami Coming"

There's going to be a huge flood of some type. It is way too late now to get far away. All we can try to do is lake (take) big loads on our backs of what we think we'll need and can carry. Things are already very wet and heavy with moisture here. It may already be too late to do any good at all by way of preparation. At least a couple young women are with me, encouraging me not to give up the effort, helping me decide what now can be carried on my back and what must be left behind.

All this is taking place in a city's downtown area (and for some reason I think of Washington D.C.), at night. For now, street lamps still work and provide light. Everything is damp, as though there has already been heavy rain, yet we know that much much more wetness is coming soon. Not everyone understands or agrees that a huge flood looms, and some think I am silly to try to salvage and carry on my back what I can.

Waiting to be separated and getting what can be taken arranged and securely fastened on my back or our backs is a small mountain of stuff out by the side of the road, a soggy sofa, parkas, folding chares, clothes, maybe tents, etc. I am pretty overwhelmed with how to manage to get the salvageable and carry-able (transportable) stuff ready, separated, securely on my back, with other stuff to be left behind, and then for us to leave, with still any hope of making it to a safer place in time.

[Do not recognize the women. One may be Jennie, the female lead in "Call the Mid-Wife," but am not certain of this. Of her, I'd say the character is pretty, in her early to mid-twenties, smart, competent, practical, yet also feels her emotions, both "good," with play, happiness, or joy, and "bad," with alarm, sadness, anger, grieving, or anxiety.

The amount of flooding in prospect, with everything already being wet, makes me think of this as a makeshift, imminent version of the Noah story, with me in the role of the person warning of a flood, but no ark ready and almost no time left to prepare.

I wonder if some really bad news is about to be heard, that may bring a great flow of emotion.

Among other things, this reminds me to call my mom today.]

5/31/13 - Title: "Getting Ready for the Wedding"

I'm young and in great shape. A young woman (not known in reality), beautiful in a simple white gown or dress, is to be my bride. The setting is outdoors in a rolling, green, grassy open landscape, with no trees, such as one might find in Ireland or England. Another young man, a little older than I, is the official wedding planner and is helping me with the decisions as we get ready.

At one point, I realize things are almost ready, that it will not be long now (maybe just a few more weeks or days). The sky is kind of dark with a low cloud cover, yet there is an eerie light coming through. It is all absolutely lovely. From the wedding site, way out in this countryside, I run the whole way back, though it is several miles, feeling almost like I am flying as I cover the intervening ground so easily and fast. (There are no roads or paths, only green expanses visible in all directions.) When I see the wedding planner, I tell him something about things being nearly ready. I am full of joy.

He considers a moment, glancing out at the vast natural open amphitheater-like vista through which I have just run, and says something like "You know, the location might be perfect for a big choir. Yes, I'm sure that would work. Would you like a choir?"

In my imagination, I see a distant rectangular patch which would be this choir out there, big as a small army, all in the same color robes, perhaps white or light blue, their voices raised in unison. I can hear how great it would be and answer "yes," again with a feeling of great joy.

[Glancing over the dream, a few associations stand out: Ire-land may be a place of ire or anger. Eng-land reminds of a place of "eng" or ang-st, and hence of anxiety or fear. Both ire and angst have been dominant emotions since I began with my current Alanon sponsor. He takes a very directive, structured, religious approach, and one that is somewhat condescending. Overall, the whole effect is to turn me off and bring up feelings of rebellion, yet I have a lot of fear that if I reject him now, so soon after having fired my last sponsor, 2-3 weeks ago, after he had hung up on me and ranted that I was too emotional, while it was in fact he who was running me down and getting too upset to stay on the line when I stood up for myself against his criticisms, then I may be in for many more difficulties and feelings of anxiety for awhile. There is also in the dream a dark mood, from how the sky is, and a reference to light blue, which probably connotes at least mild depression, the other dominant emotion I have been experiencing since beginning with this sponsor.

Typically, dreams about weddings have to do with integration, but they can also be about impending death. Hmm.

The repetition of "young" may be as one would expect about age or might refer to Carl Jung and a Jungian approach or interpretation.

Looking at the glass as at least half-full, however, there is much that appears positive in this dream: my anima, the bride to be is beautiful; I am in great shape, I am joyful and nearly flying; the landscape is all green; light is shining through; a lovely choir will be participating in the wedding; things are open; I have quite positive anima and shadow characters; the choir will be singing well, and in unison, suggesting unity or excellent integration; and the rectangular (four-sided) patch of the landscape (that will be covered by the choir) suggests manifestation in reality.

Thinking back to the "Tsunami Coming" dream just preceding this one, it may not be merely coincidental that now I am in the throws of a lot of negative emotion connected with or brought up by the transition to having a new sponsor.]

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