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May, 2018
15I am at a college campus and have been here for awhile, though not a serious student or attending classes. I had either withdrawn or dropped out, but had not left the area. I am by chance talking with someone on the faculty who has some pull with other administrators or staff. He encourages me to take advantage of a special program for folks like me who just lack one final course or semester and have been having trouble working it in. He says I can do a shortened semester and start late if I'll commit to him in the next few days (not more than a week) to attending the required classes and doing the work, tests, etc., for one more formal set of classes. I tell him I had not wanted to be a student again, wanted to be done with all that. He talks with me, though, about the advantages of finishing, getting my degree behind me, and moving on with that milestone achieved, a definite advantage. I tell him I'll think about it seriously. I do and realize he is right, and I decide to take advantage of his offer, getting ready, then, in the next few days to begin one last set of classes and to do all the work and finally completely finish my degree.
[College campus settings and classes for me represent, I think, programs of growth and learning, such as I am involved in via meditation or Alanon. There is also the possible theme of nearing the end, being in the last stage of life before death. It had occurred to me while walking the dog yesterday that, just as in the first years of life one's experiences seem more fresh, memorable, and meaningful, so now that might also be the case during one's final years. Also, there have been deaths among people I have known (such as, in the past week, the lady who ran the Alanon Information Center here for over 25 years, or, earlier this year, Aunt Mildred, my mom's half-sister) or who were close to people I know well from Alanon. In fact, this afternoon I just got word that the brother-in-law of my walking (and sometimes lunch) buddy had just died this past Friday. He and his wife were caring for him in their own home, as he had terminal lung cancer and was also getting some hospice assistance. I note that in the dream description the word "advantage" is repeated. If one were looking for puns, this is close to "advent" plus "age," suggesting the beginning, coming, or entering of old age. Of course, at 74, I am hardly a youngster, but perhaps the dream is showing that the reality of aging is beginning to set in for me. Actually, till now, in terms of how I feel I have been acting and feeling as if at least 10-15 years younger than my real age. Hope that sense of relative youthfulness does not quickly come to an end. The word "offer," as in someone who "offs" himself, reminds me of a line in a popular movie in which to "off" oneself is to commit suicide, i.e. to die. Two of the people who have recently died shot themselves. The words "late," "final," "last," and "finishing," also, if taken existentially, are about dying. Not insignificantly, this coming weekend I'll be at a Man-to-Man AA/Alanon conference with about 300 other men. Part of the event involves breaking up into a number of different workshops, and these are very much like classes, even including sitting around in classrooms in a bunch of chairs like one might have used for earlier courses, and I usually take a lot of notes, filling a tablet or two while there, just as occurred when I was at university. In addition, the first night we typically do a countdown in which we honor the folks who have been in the AA and/or Alanon program the longest, in the process also taking note inevitably of those who are no longer with us, because they have died since our prior year's conference.]
