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August, 2017
3 27I have been away. In fact, a small group of us all have. Our return is at night and after a battle or a bad storm of some kind. Police or soldiers are on hand, and one speaks to us, not forbidding but also not encouraging us to come farther. It is as if we have been in a huge underground tunnel or hanger (hangar) of some sort. There is a concrete floor and ceiling. We continue forward despite the uninviting policeman's or soldier's comments. As we come out of the big tunnel's or hangar's opening, the area before us is like a harbor or seaside. Waves and surf are in the distance, but between there and here, on the concrete or the flat wet sand of a wide, long beach, there are pieces of debris from broken or abandoned machinery, transport, or possessions and, amid them, also scattered as if randomly or by a random set of mishaps, are human bodies, some with evident injuries and missing or mangled parts, for instance a portion of a face gone, others without obvious damage yet still deceased. Our policeman or soldier now seems to be escorting us. I comment on the rare sight of several bodies left unattended, but he says it is hardly a rare sight now.
[I suspect that a catalyst for the dream is worry about another upcoming procedure to deal with kidney stones, the first, less complicated or invasive one having last month completely failed to shatter a target stone, so that this new operation is the logical next recourse. The urologist intends to go in and zap with lasers the stones he can find on both left and right, all the way up and into the kidneys. The outcome is no more certain than for the earlier procedure, and there are definite risks of mishap. The ego might not be the same afterward, and hence the face I show the world could be missing something if things do not go well with a longer period of anesthesia. In addition, there are hazards involving the procedure itself. The tubes for the flow of urine, the bladder, or the kidneys might be mangled to a greater or lesser extent by the operation. Some at least temporary damage is inevitable as the tubes are too small for the passage of the instrument, much less the fragments of kidney stone that must exit if they are successfully broken up. Yet leaving these big kidney stones in place is also not wise as they are partially blocking key routes for excretion. If this is not corrected, there might be new infections and bleeding or worse. Being away could be my way of expressing the period when I'll be unconscious thanks to general anesthesia. Who knows what the various aspects of my larger Self will discover upon waking? The policemen or soldiers are likely representations of my tenuous hold on the status quo, there to enforce that there is not whimsical or easy change, yet the randomly damaged things and bodies strewn about give evidence that the authorities' capacities to maintain the currently familiar and comforting conditions are limited. It may be an anxiety dream, there to express certain of my fears about the medical care ahead. There is a basis in fact for my concerns. They are concrete or real, not abstract and imaginary. The presence of an ocean suggests I am in touch with intuition, the unconscious, and emotions. The misspelling of hangar as "hanger" suggests I have anger in the current situation. That I have been "underground" suggests some identification between the period of general anesthesia and death (six feet under). In fact, I have signed a medical directive, and it has been witnessed, such that in certain eventualities, should the operation go wrong, I would not be resuscitated. The policeman or soldier's comment that seeing such damage strewn about is no longer a rare sight suggests a morbid assessment of the repercussions of undergoing medical procedures, especially so as one gets into old age.]
8/27/17 - Title: "All's Well That Ends Well"
Scene One - I am driving on a wide, multi-lane thoroughfare in a hilly region and see a woman next to her broken down car in one of the left side oncoming lanes. There is no sense of danger, only that she is having to deal with a significant inconvenience. As it is not convenient for me to stop or turn around at the next crossover and render her assistance, I just drive on, hoping someone else will help her.
Scene Two - There is (in a fairly urban area) a small cabin in which a couple men live. They are both quite fit and intelligent. One reminds me of my nephew, Charley, except that the real Charley probably needs to lose a little weight. He was recently on a long walk or hike, but, so as not to get too bored while exercising, he would look back at a paperback book that he was holding open sort of at eye level behind him in his left hand and speed-read a page, then quickly rotate his head to look forward as he advanced, then swiftly back to read another page, etc. It worked for him.
I don't know why I was at their cabin, but I had a car, and they didn't. In some way, I was using my car to go get help for them, plus the woman I had seen next to the broken down car, and one other woman, all four of these, the two men and two women, now being in the small cabin. There was also the impression that, now that I had brought the women here, in my car, they could more easily get the professional roadside assistance they needed and so before long be on their way, whereas the two young men would still be living in the small cabin. I was feeling good about having helped and that the previous problems affecting all four were being resolved and would soon no longer be big issues. I left, then, knowing I could be on my way to carry on my normal activities with a clear conscience, having helped in this overall resolution and that the others felt good about the help I had given them and how it was all turning out.
[Of Charley, I'd say he is a very resourceful person who at the drop of a hat will help a motorist having problems at the side of a road, has initiative, is spontaneous, automatically takes the lead when a leader is needed, learns quickly, is extroverted, and has plenty of energy. His looking back ordinarily might remind of not living in the moment because so focused on concerns over the past, while his looking forward usually could suggest obsessing about the future, yet in the way Charley is doing these two things there appears to be no neurosis. Rather, he evidently is focused on the past only in an entertaining way and on the future it is in a manner that is functional and practical. This character in my dream suggests such inner resources may be part of my overall makeup and can stand me in good stead in stressful circumstances.
References to two men and two women may represent dawning awareness of the issues involved. Life has its ups and downs (hills), and cars are often about the way we progress through our lives. In this case, how I am living mine apparently is helpful to other, inner characters or aspects of myself, both to anima characters (there to show by example or counter-example right attitudes) and shadow selves (the male characters). The woman with the broken down car reminds me somewhat of a lady I know who is quite intelligent but also self-indulgent, likely an alcoholic, and obese, yet who has a good sense of humor, and makes positive, insightful contributions to my mystery book discussion group. Thus, there are both flaws and attributes there, which can be cultivated or avoided, as appropriate, in this part of my inner repertoire.
Overall, the dream suggests some break-down that needs fixing, but that there is positive resolution by the end, perhaps indicating an optimistic assessment of my upcoming efforts to get the kind of kidney stones treatment I need, despite two urology doctors' offices so far not helping much with that.]