December, 2011

7 10 11 14 23 31

12/7/11 - Title: "The quiet earth"

I've gotten a new room, since I'm new in town. It's an old room and rather Spartan, with used furnishings, but new to me.

It is a tiny thing, this room, and others seem to think they live here too. We're all part of what for me is a too informal atmosphere rooming house that's chock full of roomers. When I first go to let myself into my new room, I find a tall woman in there getting a book or a box from a shelf. I tell her I'm the new roomer and that she out (ought) to keep her things in her own room.

"Too crowded in there," she says, with a European accent (Swedish? E. Europe?) "For when the menfolk come calling," she says, as if this cleared the matter up. I assumed she meant that, when she brought dates home or had them over for sex, they needed more space than she had without putting some of her stuff in my room.

Others also seem to think it is fine to traipse through my room, using a small part of it, that is down 2-3 steps from the main part. I ask them to please not come through anymore, saying I'm the roomer there now and I like things quiet, peaceful, not with a lot of other people tromping through my room. They look at me like she (they) think(s) there's something wrong with me.

Another woman - the landlady I think - smiles at me and says "The quiet earth, eh?" like she has me kind figured out. I think of my little 10-12" black-and-white TV, that I'll probably enjoy watching, and wonder if their hearing it on in my room will fit into their new "the quiet earth kind of guy" view of me.

I kind of regret that I'll not fit in so well here, with the easy camaraderie the others have together, but I insist of having some privacy. My room is hardly big enough for me as it is, very small and narrow.

An old guy tries to talk with me about something, but I don't understand or remember. I say something general, non-committal in reply. I don't think he heard or understood me either.

[I related this dream to my wife, and she immediately thought it was about her, though I had not made that association at all. She pointed out that she is kind of tall and is of E. European descent and that I have objected at times to her moving more of her things into what I had thought of as my part of our not so big house. Of her, I would say she is very practical, not much into her feelings, highly intelligent/intellectual instead, and an excellent teacher.]

12/10/11 - Title: "Frustration"

I am at some distance from home, having traveled here in my Volkswagen beetle. It had a flat, so I changed the tire. However, while I was inside doing something (making a call, I think), a second flat has occurred. I suspect foul play. The cut on the tire looks as if someone had shoved a "shiv," knife, or screwdriver into the side of it. I suspect someone did not like where I had left the car parked, for while I was inside, and decided to show discontent in this manner.

I try to call home to explain the situation. I also try to call for vehicle assistance. In neither case am I successful. There is some problem with my phone itself and/or with completing the calls.

I go into the nearby office or hotel to get help, but am given the runaround. Nobody takes responsibility. Everyone with whom I speak indicates it is not up to him or her, that it is not their department, and I must speak to someone else. When I mention I think someone cut my tire, they say I should report it to the police. To me, this seems just more red tape that will not fix the situation or get me back on the road.

I get into the car and drive it awhile, despite the flat, trying to find an out-of-the-way place where it will bother nobody to leave it till I can resolve the difficulty I am having, likely several days from now. I do find a little place to leave it, on an apparently little used country road, narrow but with asphalt paving. It is fall. Yellow and brown deciduous tree leaves have been falling. It is overcast, but the natural setting is pleasing, though a little desolate, damp (as if there had been a light rain recently), and lonely.

I walk back to the office or hotel and am again trying to work out how best to begin resolving the situation, still unable to communicate by phone or get any assistance from anyone here. It is now toward evening. I need to arrange a place to at least stay for the night.

[Am puzzled by this dream. There may be something to do with my feeling at fault (from "asphalt") or that somebody else is at fault. It could also have to do with feeling stymied in my growth in some way. It could merely be about frustration or anxiety in general. Lately these feelings have been occasioned in the real world by the effects of global financial uncertainty on our nest egg, as well as by several people, who had been coming regularly, no longer coming to my Friday night Alanon group's meetings, so that the numbers have dwindled of late to often only about 4-6, though typically in the past there have been at least twice that many.

This is the second dream I have had in the past few months involving a Volkswagen beetle. I did have such a car for 16 years, but do not know its metaphorical significance in the dreams.

I suppose the yellow leaves suggest both fear and caution, while the brown leaves may symbolize earthiness, fertilizer, or being well grounded.

The dream's issues suggest some communication dilemma as well as internal conflict or complexity.

The damp, overcast, and lonely conditions may indicate sadness, feeling alone in an unpleasant way, and/or awareness of emotions otherwise.

I wonder if the word "tire" has a second meaning, i.e. a reference to being tired. Maybe I need more rest!

References to both department and leaves may have to do with saying "goodbye" in some fashion, i.e. to things in my life that are departing, leaving.

Certainly one theme of this dream is taking responsibility or, rather, avoiding taking it, so that nothing really can be accomplished. While this is a great frustration I have with politicians in the real world, there must also be a way in which this idea applies to my inner circumstances.

Perhaps it is important that my car is a vehicle or wagon of the people (my inner "volk") and also a "be"-tle, a car for making progress in one's being life. However, in most of this dream, the car is parked.

It may also be relevant that in real life I call the Alanon people whom I call periodically Alanon folk, which of course is very like "volk," and wagon suggests being on or off the wagon, in the sense of staying with or falling off a program of recovery - such as in Alanon or Alcoholics Anonymous - from the disease of alcoholism or similar dysfunctions.]

12/11/11 - Title: "Sticking It Out"

Scene 1 - I am walking in an attractive residential neighborhood during the summer. Things are warm, bright, and sunny.

Scene 2 - I am one of several men on an inclined plane. Under the supervision of attractive women, we are not wearing much and are required to sleep crowded together on this plane. The plane is inclined so that our heads are higher than our feet but crowded enough here that we men lie shoulder to shoulder and, if we have to go to the bathroom during the night, there is considerable hazard that in the darkness we may step on one another or on each other's stuff (or be tripped by some of it), arrayed in a congested, collective spread-out mess on the floor at the base of the plane. At least I am at one edge of the plane so I must rub shoulders with only one of the other men, though I'm also in danger of falling off the edge if I move much at all while sleeping.

A beautiful young woman (my actual volunteer coordinator in my work as a reading mentor for 2nd grade students), both by talking with and touching me, encourages me to stick it out with the research the women are doing with the men sleeping on the plane. Some of this research involves performing sexually with one or more of the attractive women. As it ends, I have the impression I performed well, but I feel that I could continue the research further with my coordinator. I decide to go on a long walk, now that our night's researches have been concluded and it is morning again.

[Of my volunteer coordinator, I would say she is smart, an extrovert, and a good teacher, but probably touches the elementary school students more than is seen as politically correct in education these days. The sexual theme of the dream is hardly disguised. I assume the coordinator is in the dream as my anima to emphasize owning and expressing similar qualities to hers, though here the touching may refer to connecting with people emotionally - so they are (ideally) moved by the interaction - rather than physically. As for the inclined plane aspect of the dream, rubbing shoulders with shadow parts of myself, sleeping near the edge, or going for a walk once it is morning again (mourning again?), I am not getting the meaning of these metaphors.]

12/14/11 - Title: "The Picture, Large and Bright vs. Small and Mostly Dark"

Scene one - Daytime and daylight, downtown in a large city (NYC?) (Chicago?) (San Francisco?), with huge skyscrapers all around. The perspective is as if I am above, several stories higher than street level, but not even halfway up to the top of the skyscrapers. I can see far between them, my view encompassing in the distance parts of lakes or rivers or waterfronts or for miles the built-up metropolitan areas, but also right here I can see down to street level and up toward the tops of the tall buildings, as if I had the vantage point of someone flying in, perhaps in a helicopter, only I am not aware of any vehicle. The mood seems one of exhilaration. It feels like afternoon, though. The sun will be going down.

Scene two- I am below the vista from the other scene, on a subway level, waiting (on a platform, I believe) to catch one, wondering how to tell if it is the right one, and then how to tell where/when to get off. It seems like nighttime below. There is artificial light just above the platform. One can see only a short distance down here. The mood seems one of apprehension. (In either scene, am not aware of other people, though I know there must be many, both in the skyscrapers and in the subways.)

12/23/11 - Title: "ALL of US UNITED! We Shall NOT Be Defeated!"

There is a huge, multi-story building, at night. Dark magic prevails, though there are many, many people inside wanting to find a way, together, to overcome the destructive forces of evil. People are dependent on me to come up with a solution before too late, but we seem locked in here with even the windows sealed shut and magic automatic dicers or slicers cutting us up after everything we try, till we're like sliced pieces of apples. Suddenly, I realize that together we have too much power for the evil. We can just keep dancing and shouting, chanting, or singing together, and even if we keep getting cut up and diced down to the cellular level, we can live on!

I send out the message to all of us and somehow manage to force open the windows and shout it out to all the desperate throngs out there too and, even as the automatic dicers/slicers are cutting us up, all the newly sliced pieces, smaller and smaller with each shouted chorus, triumphantly are chanting, singing, victorious!!!! "All of us UNITED! We SHALL NOT be defeated!" (Chorus repeats and repeats) (And I wake up, defiant, energized!)

12/31/11 - Title: "How to Let My HP In."

I am in a dark house, apparently asleep. Then I see a small dog, white, I think, and hear it howl. I wake up (though still actually asleep) and think this dog must be our own pet, Puff (although our canine barks but does not howl).

I wake up more fully in reality, then, and think I may have had the dream because our dog had already gotten up and that Fran had let her out, so now she is letting us know she's ready to come in. When I check at the door, though, she is not there. Both the real dog and Fran are evidently still asleep, as is confirmed a few minutes later when Fran gets up and lets the dog out.

[I have been sleeping in a different and darker room due to an allergic sinus reaction - to juniper pollen, I believe - and a severe asthma attack, with lots of coughing and wheezing.

Of Puff, I'd say she is extremely playful, impatient at times, into having things her own way, and persistent in getting others to engage positively with her.

I suspect a pun may be involved in the dream dog's howl, but if so have not solved it yet. Maybe it is something about "how" plus "L," i.e. "How?" + "El," though the "L" could also refer to "love," since I often use "L" as an abbreviation for "Love" in signing e-mails. If "How" "El," it could refer to some query about my HP, since "El" is a Spanish or Latin form of "god," I think.

The canine also can be a metaphor for one's higher power (HP), since the mind reads letters forward and backward, i.e. dog = god.

So maybe the dream is there to suggest that I am in the dark on certain issues and might "wake" up and find a way (how to) be more loving and/or spiritual and/or how to open to my HP entering where I live (my larger integrated self or my set of smaller identities, existing together in this awareness I call "me").

The dog is also showing, by example or counter-example, right feeling, that is with due regard to getting my own needs met, being playful, persistent, seeking more engagement with others, and being neither too patient nor too impatient.]

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