December, 2014


12/18/14 - Title: "Getting More Than We're Paying For"

(Much else has gone on in this complicated dream, but all the rest is forgotten.)

Frances and I have been staying together in a 3-day retreat or conference of some kind. Mostly because of her naturalist and/or photographer contributions to the overall retreat's success (in its pursuit of greater knowledge or awareness of the natural environment), and partly due to my prior agreement with those who are putting on the retreat, the bill for our stay at the motel (or other room here, for it could be like in a bed-and-breakfast or a room in a school) is to be discounted, so our correct charge should be for just 2 nights.

The person in charge changes during the course of the retreat, and I have no agreement with the new person. I'm worried he will assess me the full 3-nights' bill.

When I get the bill, it is in pencil and showing each of the 3 nights and 3 days followed by leaving on the 4th day, thus a total of 7 parts to our stay, separated by penciled double slashes (like this: //). The new manager tells me he knows my arrangement was for a discounted stay, so we'll get our accommodations through the check-out date for the price of a 1-night stay.

Now I am worried that it is he who is being treated unfairly. Should I just accept the even better than agreed upon discount or clarify that my agreement was for a discounted stay, but for only 1/3 off, not 2/3, and that I'd be happy to pay the 1/3 off rate, i.e. for two nights?

I decide to go ahead and clarify the correct, agreed upon rate with the new manager (but then I wake up before having done so, still concerned that, as it was left, I need to own up to the right amount, or I'll be dishonest and ripping him off).

[Of Frances, I'd say she is brilliant, personable, and usually happy, though often preoccupied with her avid intellectual or artistic passions and hobbies. She is therefore a rather good anima to have.

I note that "check-out date" could be a euphemism for the day of one's death.

There may be a concern here for discounted value, getting what one does not deserve, but in a way it could be the emphasis on dis-counting could be about tallying up the instances or ways one is being or should be put down, i.e. "dissed," another way of not valuing oneself or feeling one is not worthy.

The numbers in the dream may suggest unity and integration (1), growing awareness of the situation (2), transformation happening (3), manifestation in reality (4), and, per the I Ching, that when there is firmness and correctness in a leader there will be good fortune and no error (7).

There may be a way in which I have been retreating from a circumstance, either an external reality issue or an inner realm circumstance or conflict. There is a potential confrontation that may be about to occur in my mystery book club. I'd just as soon put it off or avoid it, and have been so doing in recent weeks, but the issue needs to be dealt with. An older woman in the group seems to want to dominate the book club and get her way on a variety of decisions about how we conduct the group's affairs. She makes unreasonable demands and comes out of left field with her insistence on things that have not been discussed or agreed to by others. We have been tolerating her attitudes and behavior, but they are becoming disruptive. Besides, she is challenging my leadership of the group. If I am not assertive, by default she is becoming the defacto leader, though her approach would not be as good for the group, and people would likely start to leave our group if she persists in this way. What would a mediator recommend?

Regarding the issue of getting more than was paid, at a party the other night, some in our group took advantage of the restaurant and our waiter, bringing in HEB cupcakes instead of ordering desserts and even drinking more than they officially ordered, when there was wine we could pour for ourselves on the honor system, i.e. drinking three glasses while being charged for and paying for one. As the group's leader I sort of felt responsible for this situation, that we were as a group ripping off the eatery and our waiter, though, as an Alanon member I was also aware it was only my responsibility to look after myself and my own relationship with the restaurant. In this instance, I had not even been the one who arranged the reservation. And it was not incumbent on me to make a big deal about the cheating or the brought-in desserts, though in my case I did order an expensive dessert to go, for Fran, that I likely would not have gotten if not feeling badly about the way the group was sort of abusing our venue and its staff. Also left a bigger than usual tip, in light of my feelings about how things had been done.]

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