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1/23/05-The water glass is dirty and has ambiguous stuff floating the scrambled eggs are rubbery the pancakes scarcely warm remind of cardboard the waitress' midriff is bare revealing a pin in her bellybutton and an array of exotic tattoos her purple nails bitten down to the quick the commuters rush by nearby johnny carson's dead at seventy-nine what a fine host and funny man yet another one who didn't take too well to old age or retirement need to get snow tires for later north trekking maybe exchange cars for one without tinted windows the author of collapse warns of self-destructive trends in american culture but what a comfort buffett says we'll be alright till terrorists strike with WMD mid-winter mosquitoes sample my wares I wouldn't make a good hospital patient inhale but perhaps meditation at long last exhale will bring enlightenment yeah right I'm following but not holding my breath...
1/17/05-Washed up the fat impatient middle-aged latin lady clerk thinks seeing my hesitancy at a new card swipe machine I cannot yet get to work my gray hair my frustrated rage to be marooned here in an alien world not knowingly of my choosing upbringing or prior mastering on vacation I wish to show my wife the fondly remembered sights of San Francisco so familiar from forty years ago we argue over private car vs public transport then waste a whole hot morning and more getting there getting lost getting acquainted with routes bay area trains subways huge cable buses that take us where we do not wish to go submerged in crowds for whom we are but barriers in their harried courses and it takes three hours to return to a dingy san jose motel another wasted day like an old snake being stoned pelted by the pitches of a safely distant boy I flinch at each new assault seeing nothing till much too late and again and again my face already a bloodied grin strike ineffectually toward what I do not understand...
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