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5/20/02-Surprised by a late knock at the door broken tooth snagging the side of my tongue a sore and repeatedly bitten piece of inner lip bulging hard and swollen subdued images before I reach it still approaching through an adjoining hall the door opens and someone sweeps in yet in darkness the street lighting sharp and angular glares through an upper room window the intruder and I encounter one another then in the pool of brightness her blond hair I notice first you're not frances but I know you I think she is a yoga teacher I'd met at the meditation house carol a nice name what is she doing here I wonder she comes on to me through rippled shadows and well lit places her own angles and curves enhanced foreshadowed by the slanting shaft of night light into my arms she dances but the princess has no clothes I gasp and grasp below her buttocks drawing her in closer my own attire strangely absent our second bodies electrical rhythmical and charged vibrate with internal harmonic energies she shudders seems to convulse against me woman I'm glad you came...
5/3/02-Our father after his first bad stroke mobility much impaired with little strength his speech a little slurred not often able to hold his urine with a walker and sufficient time could get from bed to the adjoining room for bathing and toiletry he insisted a man of great dignity on his privacy there one morning only mom at home with him he fell and he a rather heavy fellow between the wall and the excretory facilities too tightly wedged in and weak to work against his weight with every effort as in quicksand he just kept sinking till fully on the floor and still tightly pinned in mom with a severely bad back herself could not get him out he struggled for hours yet was unwilling for her to call for help despite one son a short drive away at last past nightfall somehow with incremental moves he'd slid free though he'd wet and messed himself repeatedly and could not for a long while yet manage the trip back to bed he'd funds for it but refused home health aide or male nurse help come what may he'd done it his way the natural order of things though is unkind both to the aged and the ego...
5/2/02-Kayaking with fran pepper and my brother allen up the colorado to an island just below the dam that creates lake austin the early sun yet low and its light lovely on the luxuriant growth in and around the river waters a couple swimming raccoons a pair of crayfish a number of cormorants a single anhinga its long neck and thin head serpent like a pleasant morning but allen's craft just plastic and got punctured we barely got him back with us as it was sinking...
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