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May, 2013: 8 10 13

5/8/13-Wed.-Doing our laundry chore again, that is, keeping Frances company at the Laundromat while she does it. Stopped over at Starbucks for a snack. Their espresso machines were down. Amazing how few customers they had this morning as a result, how many of their usual customers want their fancy, expensive, extra caffeine jolts. The establishment's speakers happened to be playing the songs of old balladeers who had died relatively young, Scott McKenzie, John Denver, Liz Carpenter, reminding of life's fragility.

Am going to visit Mom over the coming Mother's Day Weekend. She had a bad scare yesterday, falling, scraping and skinning her arm, hitting her head, and generally causing a lot of soreness. She thinks she is otherwise OK, not needing emergency care. Still, a close call.

A weird, self-centered, out-of-it lady who had been a problem in my Friday night support group but who left in early March for Hawaii is back, darn it! We had been doing reasonably well in her absence, but few want to go to our meetings when she is there spreading off-putting vibes.

5/10/13-Fri.-Last night, I had another argument with my Al-Anon sponsor. He has tended on occasion to be rather judgmental, engaging in "I'm OK, you're not OK" kinds of transactions. With growing misgivings, I had just put up with it before, rather than go through the potentially greater difficulty of "firing" him and finding a new sponsor. From previous incidents, though, both my Al-Anon friends, Charlotte and Janet, had urged me to move on and get new sponsorship. When he got into his typically rant-like mode yesterday, I objected, saying his interpretation was too personal and negatively critical and did not fit the facts. He responded with increased volume, an edge to his voice, an accusatory tone, and repetitions of my name as he delivered a series of aggressive assertions about my character. I held my ground, insisting his comments were inappropriate. He said he would not talk with me till I "calm down," obviously about to end the call. I said "you too!" before he hung up on me.

Considering the matter afterward, I realized I had no desire to apologize in order to get him to continue being my sponsor, when in fact it seemed to me he was less serene and more in the wrong, and this had been merely the latest time he had attempted to dominate our phone communications in this way. I wrote up a fairly diplomatic email, thanking him for all his efforts as my sponsor for the past three years, but indicating I wanted to now find a new one. I sent it off to him this morning.

About 9:30 AM, I left home, driving north to Waco for a Mother's Day weekend visit with my mom. Austin happily got some rain showers, but unfortunately they came during the rush hour. However, traffic flow was reasonably normal by the time I was on the road.

Mom and I have been having a good visit. I have been concerned about a few glitches in her functioning. For instance, she thought she had put in some stock trade orders that her financial consultant's assistant said she had not (and the younger woman's reliability is usually quite good), she now parks often about 4-5 feet out into the parking lot lanes of traffic, explaining that she has poor depth perception, she insisted the name of "KFC" (chicken eatery) was "LBJ," even after being asked which was correct, then drove us to "KFC," yet turned into the Burger King lot, claiming it was where we had been going. Her driving was also uncertain, especially at intersections, so other drivers could not tell what she was going to do. More than once, after they figured she was not going to proceed despite being given right of way, so they were then proceeding, she would belatedly head into the intersection too, in one case nearly resulting in a collision. She also, at HEB, evidently did not notice a pedestrian in a crosswalk when she started forward. Her losing her driver's license, though, would be such a "game changing" development that one hesitates to take out of her hands the choice about when to give up that level of independence. Still, it is at times nerve-wracking to be with her as a passenger. I'll likely volunteer in future to do the driving when with her on outings.

5/13/13-Mon.-A hectic time. Returning to Austin from Waco today. Then need to check on a niece's situation. A freshman at St. Edwards, she has just finished her finals but is having surgery tomorrow for a tumor on her pituitary gland. The hour of her procedure is as yet unknown. Will check with her immediate family, and want to be there if appropriate and practical. Also have much else to do these three days, before leaving Thursday morning for a Man-to-Man AA/Al-Anon conference that lasts through Sunday.

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