April, 2016

2 17

4/2/16 - Title: "After the Fall"

A woman (whom I believe on awakening is my actual wife, Frances) and I are living in a huge cave or cavern in a remote area accessible only via a system of big ravines (through which course rivers of strong currents with much white water) and by means of walking along great tree branches or trunks that extend out lengthwise along the immense ravines. Big machines are being used to move huge sections of these massive tree trunks, each several times bigger than a human. The purpose of this movement is unknown. Men are on the big sections of trunk, as if directing the movements while riding them. As Fran and I watch from near the mouth of our cave/cavern, one of these previously stable trunks, a pathway by which we could leave and return from/to our cave residence, moves in the part visible to us, hauled along forward by one or more of the great machines.

There is some kind of accident then, and huge sections of the tree fall away. The workmen try to hold onto portions of the plummeting trunk, but then the instability becomes too great, and they fall into the ravine that lies before and at a 90 degree angle to our cave. Where there had been an immense connecting tree trunk running roughly horizontal over the ravine, a means for us to go and come, is now only open space remaining above the ravine. It seems the workmen must have been killed by the fall or by chunks of the tree falling onto them. We do not know when or if help from outside may arrive. We seem now to be stranded here, though the view is awesome now that the tree's blocking of the space and light is gone, having fallen away.

[Of Fran, I'd say she is brilliant, friendly, and successfully dedicated to endeavors that capture her passion, such as music, teaching, websites, nature photography, and the study of arthropods. She and I seem in the dream to have a close bond, and these traits of hers are good qualities, so she is a positive anima character, there to show by example right feeling or action. The scene in all respects is awesome. It is for me reminiscent of images I had from reading Clan of the Cave Bear books. 90 may be amped up 9 (10 times 9), which, in the I Ching suggests progress and success. 9 may also be 3 times 3 which could indicate significant transformation occurring. The raging water in the ravine likely is about strong emotion. "Ravine" could be a pun on "raving," for there have been for me abundant obsessive and negative thoughts and feelings recently, since becoming an Alanon sponsor. This new development certainly has cost me the generally upbeat stability possessed before accepting the sponsee, after which, however, I have tended to question my competence and self-worth at every turn. This new relationship and my feelings in response to it seem to offer large opportunities but also to greatly threaten my serenity. I certainly have misgivings about the future, feel somewhat trapped here, see that things might be super if I overcome my present intense anxiety, uncertainty, or obsessive compulsive disorder terrors, yet see no way out for the moment. One option that the dream appears to suggest is to enjoy the vista, focusing on that instead of worries about how we shall proceed from here. From my spouse's overall (real life) take on things, it is also apparent I can keep things in perspective, do what makes me feel good and not put unreasonable concerns about the sponsee's feelings or potential rejection or doubts about my ability to cope ahead of my own fulfillment or of a rich inner realm.]

4/17/16 - Title: "Waiting with the Pres."

Scene 1 - I'm in a big crowded room, like an amphitheater, with multitudes seated waiting. Without planning to be, find myself only about 20 feet across a wide aisle from President Barrack Obama who, with his bodyguards or other officials, is evidently also waiting. Something needs to be finished before he can speak. He tries to appear relaxed while waiting and is smiling, showing his teeth in a grin, and cracking little jokes. I am at or near the front row facing him and amazed, impressed, curious, and a little in awe to be this close and able to enjoy his wit while we all wait.

Scene 2 - I'm in the limousine with President Barrack Obama, being driven somewhere with him. Again there is the sense of waiting and perhaps, when we get where we are going, we shall need still to wait for just the right moment for him (and the rest of us?) to get out. He is acting relaxed, yet is also expectant. He's really a bit nervous in this unanticipated wait. Meanwhile, he is smiling and cracking jokes, seeking to be the life of the party while we are waiting. Others in the limousine include the driver, an official or two, and one or two bodyguards, all male.

[Of Barrack Obama, I'd say he is quite smart, a good father and husband, a writer, political, yet also caught up in his ego to a degree than undermines his better statesmanlike instincts. The theme here is of trying to appear more relaxed than one actually is. It reminds me of tensions between my introverted self and my desire to appear more extroverted than is really the case.

I also have expectations about my sponsor-sponsee relationship and am waiting for that to kind of get off the ground, wishing my sponsee were getting more with the program and setting himself a faster pace in genuinely doing so. I am, in my contacts with him, hoping to look more relaxed, witty, and cordial than is often the case.

20 in the I Ching suggests both having a certain kind of acceptable or dignified appearance and having inner contemplation and sincerity. There is in this dream the intent to demonstrate control of a situation while actually being at the mercy of circumstances not in my control that necessitate waiting.]

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