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July, 2013
7 28Scene one - I am one of four people, two men and two young women, considering a weekend at a hotel, having separate rooms there but possibly coming together at night for sexual pairings. One of the women is not sure she is ready for this but wants to give it a try nonetheless. I am not interesting in mating with the other man and also not sure either of the women is interested in me, but am open to the possibility of the latter, as both women are attractive.
Even though I am in the dream younger than my actual age (69), I am older by a number of years than the women and so do not feel I should make advances to them, merely signal my interest and see if either of them on her own wishes to be sexual with me. There is keen anticipation and some fear as night falls, not knowing if I'll be having sex with one or both of the women before morning or if I'll be rejected.
Scene two - At a workplace, a retail establishment, with counters where there are goods for sale, I am part of a team that tries to intervene with other workers who are somehow blocked and not in touch with their feelings. About 3-4 of us are on this team, and a 4th or 5th person, a man, has come to our notice and seems unable to get into his emotions. His is a tough case. We try for some time with him, yet without success. Other workers are leaving, as the normal day shift is ending.
Our unemotional worker has left, taking a break or needing to finish his regular work, but we are all expecting him to return at the end of the shift, which he then does. He seems, though, as closed as ever emotionally when he comes back. We need to find a new, effective way to get him in touch with feelings, yet without traumatizing him or scaring him off.
[In waking life, I do not know any of the people in the dream. I may be less likely to have desired results if I continue to be a gentleman and passively wait to see if one of the young women come to me, instead of actively going to one or both of them.
The numbers in the dreams suggest unity, centeredness, dawning awareness, transformation, manifestation in reality, patience, and creativity.
Both scenes evidently are about getting better in touch with emotions (represented as animas in scene one) and some doubt whether this will be accomplished. And in both scenes I (the ego) am not well connected with an unemotional shadow aspect.
I believe the second scene partly has to do with working on what counts and marketing what is good.
It seems a change (shift) is occurring or about to happen.]
7/28/13 - Title: "First Day of School"
There is a chaotic bedlam (mostly forgotten) of interaction with and buy (by) many kids in a school or other child-focus facility. The kids are about pre-school through 2nd grade ages. I am a paid worker or a volunteer here, a "newbie," just getting my feet wet in the opportunity and challenge of helping with kids. I find it pretty overwhelming and feel like a fish out of water. Nonetheless, part of the time, the kids are so cute, spontaneous, genuine, and eager to have real relationships with me that I am charmed and want very much to keep this type work, especially when and as I can develop positive relationships with the kids, one-on-one.
However, in the last scene things don't go so well. I am preoccupied with something else for a short time, and when I return to the small team or class to which I was assigned some of the kids have my camera. They have gotten it open, so part of the film may have been exposed, and have also released a number of its tiny catches, accessing a lot of little sub-parts of the camera's inner workings. The kids very much want me to take their pictures, especially as a class (or team or other group) with their teachers (one black, one white, both younger women). I am frustrated, angry that the kids got into my stuff and that, even if not intentionally, they may have damaged it or changed it in ways I cannot fix. At that moment, I both want to fulfill the kids' hopes, take their pictures, and continue with this volunteer work and am pissed that they got into my stuff and messed with it, may have altered my precision camera in ways that I or others cannot correct, and am thinking I'm glad this is the end of the shift so I can just get away from this difficult situation (not feeling cut out for it) and never return.
The teachers tell the class they should not have done anything with my stuff and not to do that again. I think the teachers can tell I'm not sure I'll ever come back and want to do what they can to make me feel it will work out, that it won't be too bad. Yet they seem to have the knack, which I lack, of naturally being seen by the kids as positive authorities whom they mostly want to please, and they try (the kids) to do what they are told. With me, they get away with what they can and are much less trying to do as I'd wish them to.
They get together as a little group with their two teachers, facing me in 2-3 rows, and are waiting for me to take their pictures. I am alternately looking through the viewfinder and realizing I really like both these teachers and the smiling, expectant kids who after all do not realize how much and how quickly and easily they have messed things up.
At the same time, I am seeing the picture as the camera would, and it is not right, because some of the intricate inner workings of the camera have been altered, and I am dismayed and do not think I shall get it to work properly and with precision again. One after another I make small changes (adjustments) hoping to get things back as they were, working well, before the kids got at the camera, and each time I see that, again, the results are still not back to normal, the picture still blurry and the camera not as it should be. It feels like a big loss. I am sad as well as angry, yet still anxious and hopeful that maybe I can yet find or luck into the way to make things right again and be able to take the photos the kids (and I) want.