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1/22/09-When she was fifteen sixteen she steps off steps a thousand times the grief their too brief time together before debt dept department depart meant mint guilt ill too much cheer graphite graphiti graffiti on the walls bare feet on the roof never washed away so you must pay in infancy or toddler days sleep deprived naked together brilliant smiles looking into each other's lives eyes laughing laughing laughing never could you heal enough to save to keep your mother safe heal her keep her here with you and she and you growing up together just getting to know each other beautiful prodigy naked on the floor together janet your mom in ninety-eight when you were fifteen and she fell ill then dead in ninety-nine sinuses swollen eyes inflamed red throat phlegm no consolation in healing others or yourself cold bare gurneys bearing her away again then again and yet again janet ill your mom guilt debt dept department depart what it meant mint never repay upset you could in infancy or toddler days too early depart meant losing her too soon never healing enough to heal her hold her here your mom muerte her mom and she naked on the floor the thick carpet pallet soft against her bare back bottom her feet her mom holding her carefully up as she took tiny steps her first pressing her feet against her mom's warm belly laughing they looked into each other's eyes in a dream her footprints appeared where she had stood on her mother's car roof could not be washed off to hold it down from floating flying away she fell off not her fault and yet again the guilt ill now she is gone cannot erase that dept depart mint debt caduceus dollars signs ill guilt inside her mother looking sad waves once and then is gone the volkswagen beetle the top belly shaped with footprints where she had tried to walk to hold her mother here to hold it down you owe this ninety-eight thousand caduceus dollars debt dept depart a mint would not be enough healing to save her keep her here with you belly shaped beetle top with footprints cold bare gurneys away...
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