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8/31/03-We see ourselves at the top of the totem of creation what is the essence of a thing the quintessential meaning of a chair for instance tonya she of full bosom derrière deeply red lips and wide languorous hips discreet in how she dresses her hair tied up in a bun with decorous reserve invites speculation as to who she's like when she lets down those tresses her passions intense wanton as her soft skin contours glisten not for intellect or love nature is ever offering the species' sperm bearers such eye candy yet in these our final days though none of it matters more than a moment the artist has much to say for any who'll listen like a eunuch a childless observer standing outside the homemaker hurly burly as if some sexless squid were to add its jaded jaundiced comment to the last mating frenzied hours of its kind's ultimate generation before their bodies are breakfast for pelagic monsters or sink unnoticed to the sea's black bottom...
8/25/03-Roiling clouds in our town dana's wife maria was so smart happy pretty charming amusing and caring that everyone was in love with her driving north again the wretch had more than his share synapses not firing up to snuff good health senior moments multiplying cute young kids coffee sips scald the mouth profitable practice disjunct barrels of peach brandy bubbling in the sun room queasy stomach neat house in the berkeley hills sinus cavities draining phlegm salty with blood fantastic overlook view of the bay an irritated tongue unbidden seeks out the source of soreness making it worse popular book published if you do not believe in god ron said in alcoholics anonymous they teach you to simply accept that a higher power personally involved in your life might exist and just live as if this were true but he pissed it all away so self-indulgently the intense rays on my overheating glasses in the old japanese make car made LSD in his bathtub papa johnson preaching dying afraid grew and smoked weed stress test blues gave out large prescriptions suitable for suicide to depressive patients michael came at me with a knife racing through the suburbs on his ten-speed bike lost control smashed in his face movers packing up neglected his better half take responsibility for your own hostile feelings jumped off the roof they see you're a phony and don't like you for it lost his medical license famous football hero with bone cancer he saw everything disappear stench of bunched up underwear sweat and fungus between a fat boy's buttock cheeks gambled away the money what a waste striking together bamboo sticks to make a percussive musical sound...
8/11/03-We are in the dark quiet hours of the soul before dawn when the body holds least strongly its purchase upon life and cold reason the moon quite full like a river its waters in flood scouring clean every crannied nook of its stoned and muddied channel with light penetrates the shadows of men's hearts there to reveal each hot-blooded remnant of remorse and dread alone at such times with a final labor of breath after days or years of rage against it in a moment like a lapse a gentle release by the hand of its grasp before a fall a swoon to soar as one flying upon a last sigh both those we loved then we ourselves are dead...
8/4/03-Tickle tickle pat pat kiss kiss two urchins playing while waiting in their auto facsimile grocery cart for daddy to collect a pound of fresh ground gourmet coffee memories of california in the sixties white haired anglo octogenarians fussing middle-aged chicano male janitor mopping taking it all in mexican families infants kids parents grannies uncles aunts all perishing together in the arizona desert heat just shy of the american interstate a young fellow with cerebral palsy awkwardly walking by I like that song he says repeating it three times his tongue not working well at first I don't understand what song I think then hear smile our flags everywhere on clothes cars houses yards mail tattooed on our flesh so long impregnable rome fearful of change for awhile keeping at bay the barbarians cocoa leaf high produce bins o'erflowing with plenty declining wages mercury in the salmon dolphins in the tuna nets the last glaciers are melting in politics all solutions are short-term driven by polling of an uninformed electorate fairytales and delusions defeat objective assessment most every time the old and their needs will soon rise above the wherewithal of the young on whose continued labors they depend the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction will ere long exceed our powers to contain potable water wasted yet precious as petroleum will tomorrow be scarce once stable governments collapse into partisan and violent factions mirroring the transformation of a fragile climate shall the human species nonetheless by chance survive and prosper in an infinite universe everything not absolutely impossible will occur and with endless replication...
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