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9/25/03-French canada interlude shared a bottle of rum and a bath with deaf soapy annette funky toys holiday joys flesh pins tattoos earrings dumb I hear her turning scratching her butt beside me and reach over yet her side's empty it's just the wind rustle of leaves long limbs of trees happy tooth fairy tale take lemons for the immune system wide failure find a master give a gift of chocolate eye candy falling bars new puppy political smiles driving up a market steep embankment frowns slipping back quiet tongue feeling her sighs thighs tears falling down on me cuddly ravenous rodents gnawing both ends of the timeline total silence...
9/6/03-Everything's still normal it's merely routine he tells himself yet a minor personal tragedy looms under siege good binocular vision just like fresh air taken as given about which before he'd seldom think twice is soon perhaps but a memory the remaining eye not his best he'd rather have offered up if the gods needed such sacrifice this reminds him of a nephew's loss of the favored parent how ten years afterward at his dad's gravesite he would sob and helplessly scream you've no idea nobody could believe how awful how horrible it's been and heartbreakingly long later could not compose himself was beyond comfort but statistics are no respecters of our wishes or feelings the loving father lost if he'd any influence would surely not have succumbed to that cancer in his head and time's river flows on bringing changes no matter that young jim imagined that the wrong one was dead amen assaulted by a witless whim of fate and nearly emasculated through a mother's anxious overbearing intrusive involvement the lad retreats into his art and the forgetfulness of a fixed focus on dance here in this movement I am fully alive he exults in a meaningless universe while awaiting the next ricochet wounds of chance who knows in what else to have faith...
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